1) The Gospels: A Bible survey course on the life and times of Jesus and the building blocks He laid for the modern church. This course will provide students with an in depth look at the role and impact the life of Jesus has had on culture and the Christian church.

2) Revelation: An introductory course on the principles for studying and understanding the Book of Revelation. This course will assist the student in understanding Biblical prophecy and applying it to modern events.

            For much of the event I was able to stay to my corner and mingle with people who knew nothing of the underlying currents.  A smile, a wave, a few words, and I just kept moving, trying to end the evening without a confrontation.  Alas, God has always had this way of making me face the uncomfortable things in my life by bringing a conviction that overwhelms any personal discomfort I may be feeling.  This was one of those times. 

            Toward the end of the evening the antagonist, at least in my eyes, was walking through the room.  I leaned to my wife and asked for her advice.  She looked at me and said, “You need to talk to him.”  As much as I love my wife, I wished she had said something else, because now, not only did I have conviction from God in my heart, but also the confirmation from my wife in my ears.  That my friends, is a powerful combination.

            I nervously approached the man who on one hand I knew I owed a lot, yet on the other hand felt justified in being betrayed by.  I had no idea what I was to say, but knew that I was at a crossroads moment in my life.  To say I was in conflict is an understatement, because the history between us was undeniable, and not very good.  It is this conflict that is responsible for overwhelming the small voice of God leading us to closure from moments in our lives that are not nearly as clear as we may think they are.

            As I stood there waiting for him to turn, I prayed…what am I suppose to say?  He turned and looked at me and the ten years between us faded away.  What came out of my mouth was not what I had expected this moment to be all the times I had envisioned it.  I looked at him and said “I’m sorry, I was wrong all those years ago and I ask your forgiveness.”

            Those who know the circumstance would probably wonder why I did what I did.  They might remind me of all the events that led up to my decision those years ago.  They might remind me of the loneliness of losing a mentor in my professional life.  They could even point out the fact that I had been loyal right up to that moment that I wasn’t and every word they would say would be wrong but it wouldn’t change this fact.  God wanted to close a door to the past and the only way for it to happen was for me get humble, not defensive while trying to justify myself, and ask forgiveness.

            The man stood for a moment, then reached out to hug me and said something I hope to hang on to.  He told me that he was too old to hang on to old offenses.  He just didn’t have the strength or time to waste energy on hurts in the past.  He forgave me and said he was proud of me.  That I had grown up well.  As sure as I write these words, I heard the door close in my mind and I knew that the grips of a past hurt were gone forever.

            It may seem that it was a one-sided conversation and that for true closure to come I would need to have my feelings be acknowledged and an apology be reciprocated, but that would void the lesson.  God doesn’t ever ask us to do something and then says our obedience is only required if certain conditions are met.  He just asks us to obey.

            Paul wrote of a work started and finished by God.  I wonder how many of us get into the process and never see it finished because we put conditions on our surrender.  Our past can become a deep abyss that holds power to drag us down at will, even though God has promised us freedom in Him.  Sometimes the thing that frees is the thing we don’t want to do.  It is in the still small voice of a loving God that closure can be found.  Not every step is fun.  Not every step is easy, but the reward of doing the right thing can mean better days are still to come.

            Some of you may accuse me after you read this of being an apologist.  You may tell me that I am blinded by the accomplishment and that we have to take the person in their totality to have an accurate picture of a person.  You may even tell me that the darkness in a person’s life will always put out the light.  As a reasonable man, I could not argue your point, but I do choose to disagree with your position.

            To me it seems that our culture in America has become more vicious by the year.  We build people up only to tear them down.  It has become sport to pick apart the shortcomings in others and to make sure that everyone is made aware of those things.  It seems to me that as a people, this spotlighting of others, especially the well-known, has become a great way to deflect attention from our own lives.

            Two scripture texts that come to mind that I would like you to consider today are “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God” and David’s cry “Search me oh Lord.”  Both of these speak to a fundamental truth about humanity; none of us are quite what we project that we are.  Behind every life are secrets that we pray can remain a secret.  Your wife or husband may know.  A parent may be in the loop, a trusted friend or advisor, but we all have had moments that we are thankful have not defined us as people.

            I am not trying to say that a person’s character is to be overlooked or that mistakes cannot taint their accomplishments, because they will.  I would like to suggest that part of living a life of grace is to see the value in people separate from their failings.  If God is to be the judge, then He will determine the final outcome of a life.  That to me is freeing to appreciate the accomplishments of a life in spite of their mistakes.

            I believe it is fair to look at people and wonder if they could have accomplished more if they had allowed God to help them have victory in their secret lives.  We can by observation learn how to avoid traps that may threaten our own destiny.  The accomplishment can be learned from and appreciated, but in no way does the life have to become a personal role model for our growth.

            The old song says to “Turn our eyes upon Jesus, look full into His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.”  To summarize my thoughts, I have grown weary of the constant drum beat of those who are always focused on the twig in the eye of others and miss the log in their own.  How can we be called people of grace and mercy when from our mouths comes anything but that?

            One of the Bible’s greatest stories, yet also the saddest, involves the final days of Isaac.  He knew he was nearing the end of his life and called his son Esau to his bedside where he would pass on the blessing and inheritance to his eldest son.  Isaac’s wife schemed with her youngest son Jacob to take what rightfully belonged to Esau.  After using the feeble state of Isaac to their advantage, Jacob received what belonged to his older brother.  When Esau arrived at his father’s side, he was heartbroken to find that his younger brother had stolen his birthright.

            The Bible from there traces Jacob’s story, as he is the one who is part of Jesus’ lineage.  I have found myself contemplating the life of Esau, the wronged brother, lately.  What could he do after such a betrayal?  He even asked his father to take back the blessing and speak it over him, but Isaac told him once the words were spoken there was nothing that could be done.  Esau was stuck with a life in which over and over the betrayal of his brother would repeat in his mind. What impresses me most about Esau was what Esau chose to do.  He just lived.

            Some of the most beautiful verses in the Bible are found in Genesis 33:1-12.  Jacob, after running from his home because he feared that Esau would kill him when their father died, has returned home.  The Bible says that Esau and 400 of his men came to meet Jacob.  Jacob was fairly sure Esau was going kill him and prepared for the worst.  As the two brothers approach each other the most unexpected thing happened, the two men move toward each other, embrace, and begin to weep.  Jacob looked at his brother and said, “When I look at you, I see the face of God”.  What happened?

            I think Esau did something that all of us need to be able to do if we are going to move forward in life.  He made peace with what he could not change.  Some would say that it was a beautiful example of forgiveness and I would agree, but I think it went much deeper.  He had to give up his right to vengeance, anger, and the haunting feeling that followed him every day of that betrayal.  To break the repetitive cycle of destructive emotions he had to face the fact that what was done was done, and nothing would ever change that.

            How many times are we staring into the abyss of emotional turmoil seeking resolution to things that will never change?  The apology that never comes, the recognition that is always withheld, or the justice that cannot be given.  Can you count the times that you promised yourself that the next time it would be different, only to repeat your actions like an actor in an overdone play?  To make peace with the unchangeable requires an acceptance of Paul’s statement that His grace is sufficient.  This may be one of the most powerful truths in the Bible, some things may never change, but God can give a grace for you to move on and not let them destroy your future.

            Esau learned this and when he finally meets up with his brother he was able to embrace him and weep.  Nothing had changed.  The blessing was still stolen, but Esau had internal peace. BTW…did anyone else notice that when Esau came out to meet Jacob he came with 400 of his men?  I guess as he found his peace, he also found there was more than one way to receive a blessing.

            So, I moved different ornaments into position and made adjustments to the tree until I felt it was as perfect as it could be.  As I moved along to the backside, which is always the most troubling side, I noticed something.  The front side of the tree held all of our beautiful ornaments purchased from various places and for various reasons, while the backside was covered with the handmade ornaments collected from years of school and church projects.

            To be honest, most of them were not the most attractive.  The torn paper wreath, the frayed construction paper Christmas tree, and so on.  But what struck me so forcibly that morning was that every one of those ornaments held within them a picture or the writing of my children wishing our family, and more specifically my wife and I, a Merry Christmas.  I pulled the tree away from the wall and was struck by this mural that stood before me of 21 years of our family hanging from the limbs of this tree.

            As my fingers gently lifted and inspected those ornaments, I was struck by the thought that I was holding treasures.  Not the treasure of riches and wealth, but the treasure of a rich life. Each fragile picture weathered by time and each paper construction tattered by use shouted to the heavens a truth I was so humbly embracing that moment.  I had lived and was a part of this mad human race, and someone thought I was important enough to offer the great wish of a Merry Christmas.

            How often do we struggle for significance in this life?  Judging our value on money earned, position gained, and power acquired that in the end means so little.  The Bible tells us where our heart is, that is where our treasure will be found.  These struggles for the temporary treasures of our modern culture can be ripped away so quickly, and have stolen the true value of living that is found in the lives we impact, not the things we gather.

            I am humbled today not by achievements, and there have been some.  I am not moved by what has been gained, and thanks to God there has been more than I deserve.  Today I am humbled by the thought that I would be missed if not here.  There wouldn’t be a national day of mourning or people weeping in the streets, but the faces on the back of my Christmas tree would wish I could come back and move the ornaments around one more time.

            We end another year, and for many it has been a hard one.  Our dreams are different, our hopes simplified, but may I offer this thought.  Maybe the purpose behind all of this has been to refocus us on significance.  It is not too late.  You may feel like a failure today because of what you lost, but look up.  Could it be God’s way of leading you to what will last long after your things are gone?  A life of impact.  A life that has heartfelt Merry Christmas’s hanging on the backside of your Christmas tree.  Merry Christmas my friends from my heart to yours!

            Random House dictionary defines the word final as:  Pertaining to or coming at the end, ultimate, conclusive or decisive, constituting the end or purpose.  It is a word that doesn’t offer hope of what’s next.  In some cases maybe final is a good thing, but I’m considering that it also is a word that manipulates and imprisons us to a present that can never be changed.

             I have led the Christian portion of my life by the belief that when the Bible tells us we are to live from faith to faith and glory to glory, that I can then believe that my best days are always in front of me.  Yet even with that knowledge I find myself viewing many things with a finality that defies the very beliefs that I hold on to.

            How many of us have looked in the mirror and watched the 10 lbs. we need to lose grow into 50?  The dead end job we keep saying we are going to leave is still a permanent fixture in our lives?  The one year off from college is now 20?  The troubled marriage has become too exhausting to fix so you just exist?  Any one of these or many others can become the roadblock that defines a state of finality in your life.  When your present seems unchangeable, then your future is just going to be a repeat of today…over and over.                     

            The Bill Murray movie “Groundhog Day” tells the story of a man replaying the same day over and over.  He would try to do things differently, but would always end right back where he started.  How many of us can relate to this as we live lives that no matter what we do we still end up right back where we started from?

            May I suggest that the enemy of our soul has no desire for a quick destruction of you?  It is much more enjoyable for him to slowly strip away your hope, destroy your faith, and leave you as a cautionary testimony to anyone who would dare to trust in God.  The sound of a defeated believer who has come to accept that this is as good as it gets and nothing will ever change.

          Today may I offer a glimmer of hope.  Nothing is permanent. Even death is but a new beginning.  The finality in one thing marks the beginning in another.  We can’t change all of the external pressures and disappointments in our lives, but it is our internal responses that determine just how final something is or isn’t.  We have been given power through the Holy Spirit to make changes that have been so long delayed that they now seem impossible.  The decision of another that has broken your heart doesn’t have to become an irrevocable present.  You can rise above this roadblock no matter what the size.

The answer is simple.  Turn your eyes to Jesus.  Look up and stop looking down. Easy…no, possible…yes.  Why, because we were made to be victorious, but victory is a choice. Chose life today and find out that your future can be better than any present.

            This would have been the week.  A week of laboring in 100-degree heat, sleeping on a paper-thin mattress, getting little sleep, and eating food that can be scary at times and a journey that  I’m heartbroken to not be taking.  For every inconvenience, there are a hundred moments that I truly feel like I am God’s hands and feet as I move across the mission field.  Feeding the hungry, praying for the sick, placing new shoes on a shoeless child, giving parasite medication to the poor, and preaching in open-air churches to the masses, I can feel my skin begin to tingle with anticipation at the thought.  Unfortunately, this year I will sit at home, look at pictures of past adventures, and wonder if anyone will fill our gap.

            This year’s trip was planned and well in progress when the unstable political situation in Honduras erupted.  The people stood up for themselves and demanded their president obey their constitution.  In a rather strange occurrence, our government opposed the will of the people, despite the fact that our own constitution gives us the same protection against unlawful acts by government leaders.  Very quickly, Honduras became a place where Americans were not viewed very favorably, as the unrest has spilled into the streets before elections that are to be held this month.

            So with a heavy heart, and with counsel from people I trust, the plug was pulled on the trip.  In spite of my belief that everything would be alright, how can I take a group into a country not sure of the outcome?  How could I take the teenagers who have accompanied me these last eight years and look their parents in the face before we boarded our flights and assure them everything was ok?….I simply couldn’t.

            This is why I say that wisdom comes with a price.  For most people the decision to not go was simple.  Pastor Phil said we will go next year, so I’ll just wait.  When you’re the one who holds the keys to the big picture you have to also take into account the cost of your choices and count the cost.  So often we make very important decisions in a vacuum basing them on our wants and needs.  When we do this we forget how interconnected we are, and the wrong choice of one can have devastating effects on another.

            To push on through all the cautions and stop signs that I’ve encountered the last six months would be to tell wisdom you don’t know what you’re saying.  The goal is too important, the work too vital, I’m going in spite of the warnings.  When we do this how often do the results end up being so different then the good intentions we started with?  How could I face a mother if her child was injured or worse, knowing I saw the caution but chose to ignore them and convinced myself and others to believe in something that wasn’t real?

            So, I sit and worry about the people and friends I won’t see, but I know and I’m at peace that the right choice was made.  I saw the yellow light, and slowed down and waited at the red. There won’t be any tragedies to live though…just my own unrealistic sense of failure that somehow I should have made this happen.  Thankfully, wisdom whispers in my ear the sweet sound of encouragement…you listened…you obeyed…you paid the price…you’ll reap the reward.